32.

There's only 32 days left until 2010 is over,

time to pull out that journal that you wrote all our new year resolution, and tick them off one-by-one.

Did you put this year into good use?

Or did you actually wasted three hundred and three days of the year doing.. well, nothing to be remembered about?

Life, honestly is short.

You'll never know when you'll disappear from the face of this earth .

next year, i'll be 17, and i cant stop that from happening.

next year, i'll be taking the "useful-now,but-later-it's-useless" exam. SPM. i am, quite nervous about it i guess.

after that, well, im still praying about my options. I am hoping to get answers soon, then get a foundation and start the course immediately after that. or maybe God will have a different plan altogether for me.

People start asking, 'so, what do you wanna be when you grow up'. and when i say that im not sure yet, i'll get two types of response.

first,- 'oh, thats alright, you're only 16, loads of time to think about it.'

and the next one is quite familiar, - 'oh you better think about it soon! already 16. need to decide already!'

hmm, and you could actually guess that the second type is the most common.

Everytime i hear about how people my age or younger ones that already have their whole future drawn up for them, i feel like a pang of jealousy, not the kind that will kill someone but like, i'd wonder why i dont have a clear future ahead.

My heads so messed up with things i 'should' go into.

First thought that came to my mind about the future was i wanted to be doing performing arts, dancing thrills me, and i really enjoy it. but then, came the reality which is to be able to survive in this area, plus considering the fact that im ASIAN, i'd have to be reallly good to survive or i'll just die off.

And, i do not have proper lessons on dance, so yeah, a BIG cross out to that option.

sigh.

I realised, it was only just a dream

-just a dream

Hannah