then suddenly the thought of my future came to me.
ever wondered how your future will be like?
what you will be doing 10, 20 years from now?
so i started thinking about my future,
would i be doing something i like?
or am i gonna be living everyday like a routine with i absoulutely loaths?
would the results of my studies lead me to where i wanna go?
would i still be in malaysia 10, 20 years from now?
would i still be happy?
would i still be hyper and really really random?
would i still be pretending to be full of smiles?
or would i not care about anyone, anymore?
would i think back about the times i had now,
and laugh at how stupid i was at times,
cry at how heartbroken i felt at times?
or would i forget the past,
start to rebel,
and never got 'home'?
what does your future hold for you?
because thinking of my future now,
actually scares me.
what about the past?
ever think back about it?
regret things you should've done?
and now youre too late?
smile at thoughts that made you smile in the past?
my past was filled with regret, smile, surprises, anger, tears.
regrets filled me as i thought about my results,
about taking it too lightly, thinking it doesnt really mattered.
smiles at the thoughts of how friends were always there,
picking up the pieces that you left behind,
then start glue-ing you back together.
anger when you just had a fight,
your friends, your family.
fights were never happy,
and sometimes, you just cant fix the fights.
tears when youre sad,
dissapointed,
and sometimes it seem like you cant do anything anymore,
seems like 24 hours a day seem to be too short.
and tears just start flowing before you can stop it.
what stories does your past had for you?
because whatever it is,
my satisfied with how mine went.
and other times,
sorry just seem to be the only word to say.
so, to everyone.
im sorry;;
for hurting you.
for being ignorant.
for being a total b!tch.
for not being understanding.
for complaining too much.
for the insults i said.
for not believing.
for lying.
for not being there when i was really needed.
for being too sarcastic.
for being fussy.
for the fights we had.
for pretending that i cared.
for everything i've done.
when's the last time you've said that word, and actually mean it?
because without the meaning,
sorry is just a word.
what about 'thank you'?
a sign of appreciation,
so,
thank you;;
for being there for me.
for bearing with my complaints.
for trying to understand.
for comforting me.
for teaching me.
for sharing with me.
for helping me out.
for making me smile again.
for talks that made me feel better.
for clothes to wear.
for food to eat.
for times we had.
for everything, you did for me.
what about the last time you said 'thank you' to someone?
because those two little word,
it might change someone's day.
sometimes,
we have to take time to think back on the past,
then focus on the future;
and tell your enemy you're sorry,
your friends that youre thankful.
i told you secrets that no one else knew.
-secrets
Hannah
