Results was out last wednesday. My very last high school major exam's result came out. I was nervous. For me, bad results will not only cause me to not be able to apply for schlorships, but it'll also mean that I'll be disappointing my parents. Not that they will show it or anything.
Before it I was excited to get my result, after a whole 4 months of waiting and almosts 3 months of getting on with my life as a college student, I was excited to know how I did so that I could finally close that chapter of life and move on. Excitement became nervousness about a week before the result. Sleepleaa nights for the whole week, and thought that were just doubting myself, I started to count the numbers of A's I might get and suddenly got worried because I thought I would do badly.
Working hard for nearly 2 years, through my 16 and 17 year old life while all others were out playing and hanging out. I really wanted to score. I wanted to make my parents proud. I didn't want sad and dissatisfied tears when I got my results.
In the end, results was alright. I wouldn't use 'good' because I wasn't satisfied with it. But heck, my parents were proud. they were estatic. I wasn't. Remembering the tears when I took my result slip, sat down by the drain as I called my mom. counting the number of A's I had gotten, And then realizing that I', not even eligible for the schlorship I was aiming for because A- doesn't count when giving schlorship. It was so near yet so far. Within my grasps, but yet I couldn't reach it. Mom was happy, I don't know if she ever heard my voice crack while talking to her.
It was a sunny day that day, and after I hung up with my mom, texted my dad, my teachers and all that. I buried my face in both my palm, maybe i was hoping that my palm would absord all that salty water flowing from my eyes, but the skin doesn't work that way. Looking at my results slip now, there still is a stain of water droplet at the bottom of it.
The point is that, we'll never be satisfied, because true satisfaction comes from Christ sacrifice. How much pain Christ bore was on Calvary, that alone should satisfy us. Because of that sacrifice, our sins are forgiven, because of that we have power over sin. and us sinning again, meant that we choose to sin, because we are no longer slaves to sin, but slaves to righteousness.
There's been a lot of talk about priorities, and my thoughts about it too. and to be completely honest, Christ is not my priority. and that's really bad. Constantly busy with homeworks and assignments and exams, there's a constant deadline for all these things. But what's important that we, I included don't know is that, the deadline for when Christ returns, that's nearer than we know. That's soon, and we don't know when, thats why we dont sense the urgency in it. Because there is no exact date for when He returns, while our work has an exact date for it to be due.
So, how do you make Christ priority? Probably by sensing the urgency in it. By knowing the NEED for us to preach the Word instead of conforming to the world. And it's so hard.
Pray. Like mad.
Hannah
