Push.

But that’s what I do. I push people away. I'm constantly afraid that they are going to hurt me. I’m always scared that I’m going to hurt them. So I make them leave, and if they don’t then I’ll leave. I'm scared of getting too close to someone. Afraid of getting too far, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of hurting them, afraid of losing a friend. But pushing them away doesn’t help me in keeping that friendship, instead it makes it worst, there’s tension and friction or even some rough edges that no one could explain.

But what comes down to the most important is after all, Christ. I mean, really, what else can be greater than Him?

The whole week has just been depressing. For 2 weeks I’ve just been thinking and.. just thinking. I feel annoying, like I’ve just been annoying everyone. And I feel like they’re beginning to give up on me. 

Everything is so uncertain, I feel like I've screwed everything up. But then one thought comes in, Trust God. Everything happens for a reason

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I can't even think straight to even write a proper post. 

I'm messed up, Lord, I need help. 

Hannah