365.

It's funny how much three hundred and sixty-five days can change your life. 

Thinking back a year ago, I had recently graduated, four years of university life had come to an end, but I knew that the studying had not ended. for at the end of my year of work, there are still papers to be sat for, and passed before I officially qualify. 

And today, three hundred and sixty-five days later, I find myself on the register, as a qualified professional. How did I get here?

Through the year, I see God's hands leading and guiding, providing as I walk with Him. Yet through the year, I have failed Him. doubted, questioned His righteousness. Everyday, I don't love God as I should, I don't love people as I should. But everyday, God's mercy renewed, for He holds on to me, patiently holding on to me, holding fast to my faith, for without it, I will surely fail. 

And three hundred and sixty-five days had been showered with much tears, more than I cared to admit. Yet in tears, I can thank God for Christ. 

For no matter how I feel, in Christ, there is no condemnation. Oh, the grace and mercy shown on the cross! 

For no matter how I feel, I can rest in the unchanging truth of the death and resurrection of Christ. 

For no matter how I feel, the victory with sin had been won. 

For no matter how I feel, there is great joy to be found in the Cross of Christ. 

For when my faith is weak, all I can do is to plea that He holds me to Himself, keeping me to persevere and endure this race. 

What next? Whatever it is, I am called to be a faithful servant, wherever I am. 

Hannah 

Contentment.

As a nine-month-old adult, there is much that I have yet to learn. There is much future to contemplate as someone just starting out. What do I want to do for the rest of my life? Where do I want to accomplish these desires in? What kind of pathway do I want to take for my career? What are my priorities in life? Where will life lead me, where will God lead me? 

Over the past few years, the one thing that keeps coming back to my mind is contentment. Contentment in Christ. It is so easy to say "Christ is enough", we sing it all the time, but yet when things get tough, when it doesn't go our way, will Christ still be enough for us?

Being content and trusting that God works for the good of His people, according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Being content is not just "letting go and letting God", I believe that it is more than that, it is holding all you have with an open palm. It's doing and going for opportunities that come, but allowing God to close the doors that aren't right. It is holding our desires secondary to the advancement of God kingdom.

And that's hard, that is so difficult to do. Which is why contentment isn't something that comes naturally to us. We're people who strive for the next best thing, once our goals are achieved, we continue to find new goals, new targets, we're never satisfied. We have 10-year goals, 5-year goals, things that we would like to achieve before we turn 25, 30, 60! And those aren't bad things, having goals keeps us going, it prevents us from being idle. But how do you balance between being overly ambitious but also being content in Christ and His finished work on the Cross?

That's why contentment in Christ is learned. As Paul had learned how to be content in whatever situation he is in (Philippians 4:11).

I think that contentment is learned through chasing ambitions, but the constant, intentional self-reminder of Christ throughout our day. It's the open palm humility to allow God to lead and guide you, trusting that He is good. And when Satan plants the seed of doubt in your mind, telling you that God isn't good, that He doesn't love, run back to the feet of the Cross and see the gift that this good, loving Father has given. The gift of life, one that cost Him everything. It is what flow from knowing God's goodness and His word, and living it out in our lives, trusting Him, even when things are bleak, difficult, when things don't seem right, when God's people are suffering, and we think, how are these things working for the good of His people, the good of God's glory?

Learning to be content in Christ is a daily decision to allow God to work, to choose Christ daily, to have eternity in mind, not just the here and now. Contentment is realising that our lives on Earth are merely a mist compared to eternity.

Learning contentment is putting God's glorification above my own self-satisfaction.

And oh, how much more I still have to learn. To say 'yes' and chase wise opportunities, but also learn to be content, trusting in God's sovereignty and grow in faith when disappointments arise.

Hannah

God Glorified.

"Why do you look for the living among the dead?

He is not here; He has risen!"

Luke 24:5-6

How glorious that the One who sacrificially died to give us life, does not remain dead in the grave, but conquered and defeated sin.

How glorious that the One who suffered for our sake, though faultless himself, died so that through His death, we can be counted righteous. 

How glorious that God's way of redemption wasn't a physical redemption, but an eternal redemption. 

And so we wait for the day when Christ returns, to restore, to judge, so that we can praise Him perfectly forevermore. 

Hannah

Lone.

How do you feel so alone in a city that is considered one of the busiest city in the world?

Maybe its because loneliness doesn’t describe the state of one’s environment, but the mental state of one’s self.

For the past four years, I’ve never felt like an outsider. People that I’ve met, in church or in Uni, took me in, welcomed me into their homes, opened up to me about their lives. They cared for me, not like a foreigner, but like family. Because that’s what relationship within a church is like – family. The church becomes an extremely important global family for foreigners around the world in a new place. It is of such comfort to know that there is a family wherever you go. You may not know them, but that’s the joy of Christian union. It’s the warmth of family without borders through the blood of Christ.

After a meeting to sort out my visa, I was on the train ride back into the city and my heart felt so heavy, I felt so alone in this world. In that moment, I felt like an immigrant, I desired a home and I did not like feeling that way. I wanted to go home, I longed for a place where I'm not considered an immigrant. And I longed for Christ’s return. It was at that point when I've probably felt what it meant as Christians to be exiles and foreigners in this world. I felt like a foreigner in this place where I've grown so comfortable in. but yet, it was such a reminder that it is only temporary, that there is a home, a perfect home with the Creator to come one day.

The hope of everlasting praise and glory to the King, where nothing is broken, no tears of hurt and pain, where Christian exiles and foreigners can truly belong. Each day, I find myself longing for it, desiring Christ and being comforted that God will never leave nor forsake those He loves.

Through my trials, I've learnt to trust Him, to understand the need for the tough times, because where is growth but in difficult times?

A brand new chapter awaits and it is exciting to see what it will bring.

Hannah

Good?

Five years ago, I wrote this, I was in a place of inadequacy and wrote about how as people we tend to value earthly impressions and treasures more than heavenly ones. We thank God for Jesus who had saved us from our sins, yet act as if we can save ourselves. 

Five years later, many things has changed. It would be difficult to admit that I've not felt insufficient since. For many times, I've felt like I'm not good enough. I've had my share of doors slamming shut in my face, telling me that I am not good enough to do something. But each of these situations allowed me to learn more of what God's perfectly sufficient grace towards me is like. 

The reason for our "not good enough" feeling is because we aren't. Tell someone to save themselves from the eternal damnation from the constant rejection of God and we can't save ourselves, no matter how we arm ourselves with moral values and good works. It is because we're not good enough. 

Perfection in mortal men doesn't exist. It is a horrible lie that we all seem to believe that we can achieve by ourselves. We strive to be the one without fault. But perfection is meaningless when we ourselves, as imperfect beings try to make something perfect. It doesn't work, and it won't work.

But the only way to be good enough is through the one who is perfect. The only way for us to be good enough for God is through Jesus' cross. It is the cross that reconciles us to the Father, it is the cross that allows us to be "good enough" to be His people. It is not by the things that we’ve done, nor the rules we now need to follow, rather it is through the actions of one obedient man, who gave up his heavenly throne to be mocked, beaten and humiliated on the cross.

If good = perfection, then none of us is good. But in our inadequacy, the cross of Christ covers us, so that because of Him, we can be good enough as we stand before the Father. 

And ironically, not being good enough, is the best reason for us to rejoice! 

“May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.” Galatians 6:14

Hannah