Tears

no one said shedding tears was something easy.

no one said it was hard to cry either.

i've got to stop tearing up. it's almost everyday that tears will fill my eyes, giving me a terrible headache as an after effect.

going back to school, it wasnt the solution, listening to headmaster as he talks about the upcoming activity. and thinking, i coulnt do it, because that's what i feel.

i grew up, knowing that i gotta earn something, to get what i want.

that i've gotta work hard, before getting what i really want.

but i guess that'll be good for my future, instead of getting what i want immediately.

but life's unfair. we all know that.

imtryingtokeepitcool.

-just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright because i love the way it hurts

Hannah

;)

Because no matter how i feel, ill remember what you said to me, and face the world, full of confident!

I do still feel sad, but somehow, i'd managed to focus on the brighter side in life.

i thought about how lucky i am to still be here, when someone on earth is wishing for another chance to live.

i thought about how fortunate i am to have a roof over my head and food on the table, when someone on earth is starving to death, lying on the streets.

i thought about my ability to feel pain, when some are hoping the numbness will go away.

its show week. and its gonna be a busy busy weekend.

plus, i miss dance practice already.

Hannah

Inner Happiness

so yes, i've been blogging two days in a row. the sky must have fallen. but dont get used to it.

mid terms are coming and im gonna be REALLY busy. plus the practices for the musical will be hetic too.

gahh, i dont know if im gonna do well for mid terms! but i probably need to go now if i do wanna do well.

so its just a short post.

cherish is when its here. :)

imsmiling,life'sbeensomuchbetterwithoutyou.

Dont tell me we will never be together

-Its Not Over

Hannah

Rough

decisions, we all make it all the time. everytime.

some saves lifes, some dont. but we're constantly making choices to suit whether its ourselves or others.

i know i've made decisions for this year, commitment to keep, goal that i have to achieve.

and if you probably dont know me that well, i HAVE to achieve it.

but what if somethings bring you down?

thinking back about how much ive grown. physically, mentally, emotinally and of course, spiritually.

i've learn to stand up again when i fall, which is how i can run now.

i've learn to knows whats best for me, which is why i want the best of others too.

i've learn to control myself, and feeling within me, and learn to help others out of it too.

and spiritually?

i dont know how to describe that wonderful feeling.

i've been growing so so much in Him, that talking to Him is already a ritual thing to me. He has proved to me how much He cared. and i've been loving Him, my God more and more each day.

and i've learned, to get over the things that makes me cry, but sometimes, holding it in could be bad too. and He knows, He'll tell me to get it out and let it go, giving all my toubles, worries to Him.

i've learned that life isnt easy. dad once told me, ' the only way to get away from worries, troubles, is to be six foot underground' he was right. and theres no way escaping it. running away from challenges, conflicts, it has always been my way of solving it. but i know now that running away doesnt solve anything, it makes things worst. giving thoughts to that, im also tired of running away.

and recently, i've learned, to not let what people say affect what you really want to do. people can be mean, i've heard thousands of insult, either jokingly or seriously thrown right in my face. some i'll laugh it off, but some just hurt right in the heart. but when rumors are out, theres no way to stop it. and i know that they dont have to know the truth, as long as i do, and Big Daddy too.

becausewheretherainbowends,thereillbealso.

i dont care what they say about me, its alright

-all day

Hannah

Fear, Doubts, Stress.

i know i havent been updating much. my thousand apologies to whoever that still reads this.

school has been crazy. teachers go crazy with homework because they have 20 marks to threaten us with. so they just spam us with it.

plus mid terms are in like a month's time.

so regretted not getting a head start in sejarah last year. sure, najed is great, but hes well.. really slow. how are we gonna finish until chapter 4 when we're not even done with chapter 2? oh gaaah.

so yes, busy with everything, plus havent been in a really good mood lately.

TimeToGetThingsStraight.

Hannah