Good Friday.

"Surely he took up our pain

and bore our suffering, 

yet we considered him punished by God,

stricken by him and afflicted. 

But he was pierced for or transgression, 

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him, 

and by his wounds we are healed. 

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all."

-Isaiah 53:4 - 6 

The sky was gloomy, cloudy with a sense of loss, there's something that isn't right. Something that's not right with the world.
"Jesus said, 'it is finished'. With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." John 19:30

What Jesus accomplished at the Cross was the complete fulfillment of the law, it was the wrath of God laid upon himself for the sins of many, it was the complete atonement for sins. Jesus' finished work on the Cross had accomplished the reconciliation between God and man, and because of Jesus, I can stand before God, justified, not of my own work, but based on what Christ had done. As I journey through Christ's walk to Calvary, the pain and mockery that I imagined was nothing compared to what He had endured.

How is it that God, the Creator, the Almighty one be put into a position such as the Cross? To be beaten, mocked, scorned. But His reason, to take that cruel and painful walk? Me. My sins, that I might be able to be reconciled to God the Father, that I may be able to see His great love, great mercy, wondrous and plentiful grace. His crown on earth was not made of gold or silver, but a crown of thorns he wore for me.

As Jesus walked and bore the Cross on Calvary, he showed obedience to the Father and love to his people to save them. For God is love, but God is also righteous and just, and it took Jesus on the Cross to pay my debt of sin, the debt of sin of the world.

Each time as I ponder and reflect, there is so much that I don't know, there is so much that I can be thankful and praise God for, there is so much in me that is not like Christ. There is still so much sin, anger, dirt, selfish thoughts, there is so much brokenness, but there is so much grace on that Cross as Jesus took on my sin and gave me his righteousness. The depth of love shown for me, by my Saviour,

Why is this Friday good?
Because God Himself came down to die the death you and I deserve.
Because He suffered on our behalf.
Because through His death, we can be made alive to God.
Because His was a redeeming death, so that now we are no longer bonded to sin, but we can be free from it, for Christ has won the victory over sin, and over death.
Because we know, that three days later, Christ will rise again, for death could not hold him down.
Because we have a King who died for us, but did not stay dead.

"What kind of King would hang on the Cross?"
That's my King, my Saviour who walked the road before me, so that I could have this relationship with the Father.
That's my King, the Creator of the World.
That's my King, my Lord, Jesus.

"See the King who made the sun, 

And the moon and shining star, 

Let the soldiers hold and nail Him down, 

So that He could save them"

- Jerusalem 

Hannah

2015.

What a year 2015 has been. Funny to think just in the beginning of 2015, I was merely a second year student, in the midst of preparing for mid-terms. 2015 was a challenging, frustrating, but also a year of immense growth.

2015 was a year of tough decisions, trusting God and knowing that He will lead and guide me. Questioning myself on how much I trust Him to obey, especially when I don't want to.  

2015 was the year when I served in the Christian Union, whilst challenging and so many times I was on the verge of giving up. I thank God for placing people in my life that I can talk to, share in my frustration and praise God for mercy. My year of serving ended with many things to thank God for. His goodness, kindness and mercy to use a broken, wretched sinner like myself to serve Him. (Events.)

Through all those troubling times in my head, when I questioned and doubted God's faithfulness, and whether there was any hope left for it all. To which He points me back to Christ's finished work on the Cross, where I can lay my head to rest, because Christ's death had reconciled me to the Father.

2015 was when I did quite a lot of reading. (Was pretty surprised there actually!) But it has been such joy to be reminded of truth, to be thinking more in depth of what Jesus had done and the implications of that in my life. 

 Reflections.

2015 was the year when I was the most stressed out for my exams, but learning to preach the gospel to myself, especially when I'm anxious and reminding myself of the temporariness of this life. And to look forward to a greater world with the Creator.

Top left: Apple and butterscotch crepe cake; lemon drizzle; chocolate marble cake

Middle left: Egg tarts; lemon drizzle cupcakes; chewy chocolate chip cookies

Bottom left: Simple pancakes; brownies; yule log cake

2015 has been a year of baking! I've come to realize how easy baking is to show love to others. It was fun experimenting with different cakes and even challenging myself to make my own pastry for the egg tarts. Safe to say, pastry making isn't my forte. 

The beginning of third year in the last quarter of 2015 had been tough, fighting the lies in my head. And also remembering Christmas and the humble beginnings of our Lord and Saviour's birth. 

2015 has been really encouraging, reading and studying the Bible with other Christians, fellowship-ing and mutually encouraging and edifying each other. Understanding the importance of community and dependence on each other. Sharing in both joy and troubles. 

Happy new year! 

"Lord, I believe, help me in my unbelief."

Hannah

Dreams.

What do you dream about? What do you wish for when you look up towards the sky?

People will tell you to shoot for the moon, because even if you missed, you'll land among the stars. But if you're anything like me, when you shoot for the moon , you don't want to land among the stars, you'll want to land on the moon!

The past few years I've seen myself go through disappointments over and over again. I've been crushed by my high expectations of self. But yet, through it all, I saw God's guiding light through them all, breaking me down, building me back up, teaching me, molding me, guiding me to where I should be, instead of where I think I want to be.

In the season of Christmas, what does Christmas mean to you? Surely it's more than just the festive food, cute jumper and presents? Family and friends gathering and Christmas movies? All great things to have and to be thankful for, but is that... it? 

But what if Christmas is so much more than just those?

Christmas, the beginning of extraordinary love, God came down, to live as man, to die not as He deserved, but as our sins deserved, but also to be raised again to the right hand of God.
Christmas, the birth of mankind's one and only saviour.
Christmas, the most confusing, yet most loving gesture shown to men. The Son of God came to wash us clean, to serve us, to feel our pain, to reunite us to the Father.
Christmas, grace upon grace already received.

Christmas time is when Christians remember the humble birth of a baby, who will one day rescue us. It's the humble beginning of a certain future for all of us who believes. It's because we no longer need to wish for something, but can have certain and secure hope of a glorious future with God when Christ returns.

And until that day comes, we continue to struggle, to live in a fallen world, to fight with our earthly desires, but know that victory is of Christ by His work on the Cross.
And till then, we'll weep for the injustice, cry out for mercy, and thank Him for grace.
For when Christ returns, we shall rejoice and be with him forevermore, and our tears of sorrows and frustration will be replaced by tears of joy.

"When all around my soul gives way, 

He then is all my hope and stays."

-The Solid Rock 

Hannah

Journey.

"But Lord..." My heart whines at the frustration on this journey of pilgrimage.

I'm tired and frustrated at evangelizing to some who only know how to push it away. My lazy self tempts with the thought of "but God is completely sovereign anyway, if He saves, He saves!" but what lies I was willing to feed myself. What excuse of laziness that I come up with because things are hard.

"Do you not love your neighbor? Do you not love them enough to see them come to know Christ? It's all your fault that they still don't want to accept Him, because you're a terrible person!" the evil one spits at me, amplifying my guilt and pain, telling me lies such that my works were of my own strength, not of God, that God doesn't love me enough.

But those were lies, as I turn back to the Cross to see Jesus dying for my sins, for the lies I was willing to believe from the evil one. I see Jesus suffering on my behalf because He loves that much to reconcile me to the Father. Because He cares for me; because He strengthens me.

How much longer, will I have to endure this rejection? How long did God Himself patiently waited as I constantly rejected Him? Too long.
Grant me patience and love, from above, that will never dry out.
May I gain strength from the Lord, working and being molded into His image through this journey of sanctification.
Help me to trust in Your sovereign will, laying down my guilt at the cross of Jesus, knowing that it is You who make things grow, according to your good purpose, your good pleasure.
Soften my heart, to be teachable, putting on Your virtues, as shown by Jesus.
Help me see that this world is not the end of it, but there are ten thousand joy and perfect, everlasting happiness in the future, when we can be with You forevermore.

"Oh grant me wisdom from above,
to pray for peace and cling to love,
and teach me humbly to receive,
the sun and rain of Your sovereignty.
Each strand of sorrow has a place;
within this tapestry of grace;
so through the trials I'll choose to say
'Your perfect will in Your perfect way.'"
-The perfect wisdom of our God

And one day, these tears will be wiped away and filled with unspeakable joy when Christ returns.

Hannah

Reflections.

A look back as reflect on how second year had been. I've had many encouraging conversations, many tearful moment, and many thankful moment.

I've spent most of my year serving in the Christian Union and through all the struggles, the thought of quitting, the tears, I found a deep sense of care I had for others that I've never felt before. I found myself, in the midst of being lost. I found myself being more rooted in my faith, my ultimate and everlasting identity, than the temporary one I have here on Earth. I found strength when I accepted that I am weak, strength only through Christ alone, through the knowledge that Jesus had died and conquered my sins on the Cross.

Besides that, I'm learning courage as I continue on my walk with Him, courage to trust, to have faith, to not just know but fully trust that God's plan is and always will be perfect, even when when it doesn't go my way. Through the rough exam period, I had to, and still am learning to trust and put God first because it is eternity that matters most.

And slowly, I'm learning that no matter how lovely this world seem to be like, it is only temporary. And one day I will depart here, only to be somewhere better, somewhere greater.

This academic year, I've learnt countless of things, with countless of stories of how God is working in and through me, rejoicing and thanking God for the ups and downs in life, knowing that God's way are higher, mightier, better than mine; His thoughts are always perfect, always wise, always just and always loving to those He loves.

I fail as a Christian everyday, not even just once or twice a day, but throughout the day, I fail to be a person who seeks Christ with all their heart. I don't think about Christ and His work on the cross as much as I should be; and at times, reading God's word don't strike me as it should; prayer seemed more like a task that I have to do because I call myself a Christian. But yet, God somehow loves this broken, imperfect, weak and fragile sinner. He somehow manages to use this sinner, to shine forth His glory.

Yesterday, while reading a book, it quotes Paul's letter where he wrote "to live is Christ, and to die is gain" saying that for Paul, living = Christ; dying = more Christ! How wonderfully true it is. The challenge for me was that living for Christ starts here and now, not in the future. While one day, we, as Christians will be with Christ, it doesn't mean that I don't need to spend time with Christ now. It means the exact opposite. Because we will one day be with Christ forever, we should want to spend time with Him now, by reading God's word, by spending time in prayer, by talking to people about where your eternal identity is! What a challenge it is, but what glorious joy we would have at the end of it all!

And as I sit here, writing this, tears of joy and thankfulness fills my eyes as I reflect on how undeserving I am for God's grace but yet He chooses to lavish it on me instead. As I reflect on how the year has been, I cannot express enough gratitude for undeserving kindness, love, mercy and grace shed upon this broken sinner. how great and mighty Christ's work on the cross to have provided a way to the Creator.

Oh, may I never boast in myself, but in the One who had died to save my soul!

Hannah