Valentine.

Let me tell you of the greatest love of all.
One that no red roses, no amount of chocolate, no amount of pink confetti hearts could afford.
But the love that is free. 

It's a funny paradox, isn't it? A love so great, that no earthly, material gifts could afford, how then, can it be free? 

This is a love that is secure, a love that overwhelms, a love that is home-ly. 
This is a love that so many yearn for, a love that many look for, but they look for it in people who fail them. Many look for this love in others, they look for the other person to satisfy them, to fill their void, their need for love, their need for validation, their need to be needed.
A completely normal, human desire.

But yet, this greatest love of all will never fail. 
It is a gift that promises all things and more and fulfils it;
It is the fragrant red roses that will never die;
It is the yummy box of chocolates that will satisfy you forever, not just for 5 minutes. 
It is so much more than all we can ever imagine it to be. 

It is the love that bore the crown of thorns, the love that endured physical torture, emotional pain, spiritual disconnection. 
It is the love that, "though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God as something to grasps" (Phillippians 2:6) 
It is the love that empties Himself so that we can be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:21) 
It is the love that loves perfectly, sacrificially and obediently. 

It is the love that God has for His people, to send Jesus to die for our sins so that we can be reconciled back to this perfect love. 

And if this is the greatest love, are we really bold enough to ignore it? This love, unaffordable by the things of the world, only asks for you to have a little faith, trust in God, to believe that He is our Saviour. Because even in this bleak world, there is hope, but only in the Cross of Christ. 

Hannah

Twenty twenty.

2020. The year no one expected. The year many were indoors for months on end. The year where the busiest cities in the world paused, the crowds dispersed, the shops shut. Families apart for a long time, with minimal to no physical contact. 

You've learnt to smile with your eyes, you've learnt the importance of technology. You've learnt to be grateful for what you've got. You've learnt how privileged you really are. I certainly have. 

2020, a year where so many plans were cancelled, postponed, delayed. New plans made, new plans cancelled. A year of heartaches, loneliness, confusion, frustration. A year of joy, of quietness, of productivity, of unexpectedness. 

2020, a year with much to be thankful for. 
Through difficulties, I'm thankful for friends and family who have been a stable companion, a listening ear, an encouraging pal. 
I'm thankful for a job that keeps going when times have been so tough on so many. 
I'm thankful for a workplace that is friendly enough to feel like you're apart of something. 
I'm thankful for the church family, who despite rough and difficult times, to continue preaching the good news of the gospel through various media, who had faithfully continued to feed the sheep.
I'm thankful for so many material things, a car, a roof, a bed, running water and more than sufficient food. 
I'm thankful for friends, near and far who checks in, through calls, and pray with and for you, encouraging you in your walk with God. 
I'm thankful for Jesus, who had come as a helpless baby, for the sake of love, to reconcile us back to God the Father, the Creator. 
I'm thankful that God does not leave us helpless in our sins, but graciously provide a way of salvation, through Jesus' death on the Cross, and His resurrection that shows He has defeated death and sin. 
I'm thankful for the many people who remind me of that. 
I'm thankful for many things, many of which I cannot boast in myself. 

2020 was difficult, challenging, frustrating, but tough times are growth times. 
If 2021 continues to be as hard and difficult, maybe at the end of it, we can rejoice and marvel at how we've grown in the Lord and praise Him. 

One thing that I know is sure, is that God is sovereign and good. I am called to be a faithful servant of His', and I know that my future is secured in His everlasting arms. 

To more grateful habits, and more runs:
Happy new year!

Hannah 

Light

Dear friends, strangers, and even quiet stalkers who check back in on my blog every so often,

Some might have noticed that this blog went private a while ago. And I've not written anything for a long time either. The past 18 months have been a difficult journey for me. It has been one of struggle, hurt and grief.

So through that difficult times, I wrote as a personal journal, and the rawness and unintelligible words that had flowed through were messy and difficult to understand. Writings that I cannot bring myself to share.

Yet, in those difficulties, there is a constant light and grace shown to me. So much that I am and can be thankful for, even in dark times.

I am thankful for warm fellowship, people who allowed me to quietly be a part of their family, however chaotic or messy it is.
I am thankful for a job that I enjoy, for the opportunities given to me.
I am thankful for the church, God's people who had been so kind and loving.

And most importantly, I am thankful for God's unending grace. Because in the darkness, when things are hard and I can't find my way out, and I can't see anything to be grateful for, I am reminded of Christ's finished work on the Cross, for my sake. That while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. ( Romans 5:8). And because of that, I have hope in the darkness. I have eternal and everlasting security in Christ, the one who commands the waves to be still.

But tough times are growth times, and these times are sanctifying my faith, to the glory of God.

Hannah

365.

It's funny how much three hundred and sixty-five days can change your life. 

Thinking back a year ago, I had recently graduated, four years of university life had come to an end, but I knew that the studying had not ended. for at the end of my year of work, there are still papers to be sat for, and passed before I officially qualify. 

And today, three hundred and sixty-five days later, I find myself on the register, as a qualified professional. How did I get here?

Through the year, I see God's hands leading and guiding, providing as I walk with Him. Yet through the year, I have failed Him. doubted, questioned His righteousness. Everyday, I don't love God as I should, I don't love people as I should. But everyday, God's mercy renewed, for He holds on to me, patiently holding on to me, holding fast to my faith, for without it, I will surely fail. 

And three hundred and sixty-five days had been showered with much tears, more than I cared to admit. Yet in tears, I can thank God for Christ. 

For no matter how I feel, in Christ, there is no condemnation. Oh, the grace and mercy shown on the cross! 

For no matter how I feel, I can rest in the unchanging truth of the death and resurrection of Christ. 

For no matter how I feel, the victory with sin had been won. 

For no matter how I feel, there is great joy to be found in the Cross of Christ. 

For when my faith is weak, all I can do is to plea that He holds me to Himself, keeping me to persevere and endure this race. 

What next? Whatever it is, I am called to be a faithful servant, wherever I am. 

Hannah 

Contentment.

As a nine-month-old adult, there is much that I have yet to learn. There is much future to contemplate as someone just starting out. What do I want to do for the rest of my life? Where do I want to accomplish these desires in? What kind of pathway do I want to take for my career? What are my priorities in life? Where will life lead me, where will God lead me? 

Over the past few years, the one thing that keeps coming back to my mind is contentment. Contentment in Christ. It is so easy to say "Christ is enough", we sing it all the time, but yet when things get tough, when it doesn't go our way, will Christ still be enough for us?

Being content and trusting that God works for the good of His people, according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Being content is not just "letting go and letting God", I believe that it is more than that, it is holding all you have with an open palm. It's doing and going for opportunities that come, but allowing God to close the doors that aren't right. It is holding our desires secondary to the advancement of God kingdom.

And that's hard, that is so difficult to do. Which is why contentment isn't something that comes naturally to us. We're people who strive for the next best thing, once our goals are achieved, we continue to find new goals, new targets, we're never satisfied. We have 10-year goals, 5-year goals, things that we would like to achieve before we turn 25, 30, 60! And those aren't bad things, having goals keeps us going, it prevents us from being idle. But how do you balance between being overly ambitious but also being content in Christ and His finished work on the Cross?

That's why contentment in Christ is learned. As Paul had learned how to be content in whatever situation he is in (Philippians 4:11).

I think that contentment is learned through chasing ambitions, but the constant, intentional self-reminder of Christ throughout our day. It's the open palm humility to allow God to lead and guide you, trusting that He is good. And when Satan plants the seed of doubt in your mind, telling you that God isn't good, that He doesn't love, run back to the feet of the Cross and see the gift that this good, loving Father has given. The gift of life, one that cost Him everything. It is what flow from knowing God's goodness and His word, and living it out in our lives, trusting Him, even when things are bleak, difficult, when things don't seem right, when God's people are suffering, and we think, how are these things working for the good of His people, the good of God's glory?

Learning to be content in Christ is a daily decision to allow God to work, to choose Christ daily, to have eternity in mind, not just the here and now. Contentment is realising that our lives on Earth are merely a mist compared to eternity.

Learning contentment is putting God's glorification above my own self-satisfaction.

And oh, how much more I still have to learn. To say 'yes' and chase wise opportunities, but also learn to be content, trusting in God's sovereignty and grow in faith when disappointments arise.

Hannah