hannahongg. ;)

At This Moment.

2012-02-09T08:07:00.001+08:00

How do you do it? Do you choose one person over the other? Or do you just go with the flow? How exactly do you manage your time properly between two groups of friends?

How do you hang out with everyone and still are good friends with the ones you hang with? How do you befriend new people without being critised by your old friends? How do you stand up and tell them about what you're feeling when you're just so sick and tired of it all?

What do you do?

Hannah

Eighteen.

2012-02-05T20:54:00.000+08:00

My eighteen birthday wasn't as grand as others would be. But it didn't matter.
I spent my day doing homework as the weekend before i was away.
What is the significance of being eighteen? Even I'm not to sure. But going through a month of college, I'm exhausted.
Piled up with home works and things to do, I'm not even sure what to do anymore.

I'm struggling through this time, and there is only ONE solution, Christ.
However things are, Christ is sufficient. or HE is suppose to be sufficient, but because of our sinful desires, our constant pleasures to be of the world that causes us to keep filling our void with things that are not from God, instead we fill it with things of the world when really, we all have that one precious thing. we have Christ as our saviour. And I need to remember that, because when everything fails, God doesn't. And I need to trust him.

Have you ever prick your finger on a needle? scrape your knee when you fell, it hurts doesn't it?
Now imagine a nail, penetrating through your wrist as you hang on it. 2 wrist, 2 nails, and another 2 more going through your feet. As you hang, people watch you die.
Many times, people don't think about the cross, I too, am so guilty of it. We don't want to think about the Cross because it reflect on our wrongs. But we don't realise that the Cross also reflect on how worthless and how we are nothing and Christ is everything.

When are we going to realize that Christ is enough, that He is sufficient?
When am I going to realise that?

Hannah

Rush.

2012-01-22T23:37:00.001+08:00

We don't realize how short life is, we don't realize that just by a blink of an eye, everything fades away. Because one day, one fine day, what if we don't wake up from our sleep?
What if one day we got into a fatal accident, what if one day we got so sick that it wasn't even hopeful for you to live? What if.
We don't understand how precious every second spent with family and friends are. With just one second, your whole life changes. Every second, every minute and every moment spent with someone, without telling them about the love of God, is time wasted away, a slow way of killing them, literally.

How do you understand God's love? Even I don't understand how in depth and how sacrificial His love towards my life is. Sometimes, I don't understand why in the world would someone like God to sent Christ for me, but I am thankful for it.
Whether it is the common grace given to me, or the saving grace, I am grateful for Christ no matter what.

Why do I love? I love because God first love me, it's hard to love people, but can you imagine the holy God loving us, sinner? Can you imagine Him sending His son for a bunch of rebels like us?
What does it all come down to? To glorify God and to show God in full glory. God is love, but He is also a God of wrath. He cannot tolerate sin, he cannot tolerate our sinful nature, our sinful desires and the way we think that does not glorify Him. Yet, he was willing to sacrifice for us, to show us grace, and mercy.

People we love may just leave our sides anytime, when they do, will they one day look back and turn to you with tears in their eyes, asking you why you didn't tell them about Christ?

Hannah

2011.

2012-01-02T18:31:00.002+08:00

Happy new years everyone. I know I'm a little late but I've been real busy.

Looking back at what last year has been to me, it really made me realise how good God is in my life and how faithful He has been. (though He has always been faithful). As 2011 was an exam year for me, i thought that I would have some mental breakdown because of all the stress, but thank God I didn't. Though I too, struggle to try and keep my studies and my time with God, I sometimes fail but it really was God's grace and strength that i had managed to get through the whole exam period without any breakout whatsoever.

Trusting God has been really clear in 2011 too, just trusting Him and know that whatever comes my way, now or the future, it might not have been in my plan, but it was in God's plan for my life. Whatever decision that was tough to make or whatever situation that I will go through, I've learnt that I have a choice, to face it or to run away from it. This is important reminder to me because so many times I run away from things, and I don't face them head first.

2011 has been a good year. It's hard to believe that a new year has come already, and I'm starting college.. tomorrow, actually. :) I don't feel much being in 2012, but it'll certainly be a good year when God is the center of your priorities.

Hello 2012, and goodbye 2011.

Hannah

Ends.

2011-12-31T11:38:00.000+08:00

Last day of 2011, how was the whole year to you?
Time to reflect and take a look at your resolutions that you've made earlier this year and hopefully check it off. I've certainly learnt a lot this year.

2011 has been a great year despite all that had happened. I realized that no matter how bad a situation is, God is in control and that situation could turn to be a lesson for me or a gained knowledge.

2011 is almost over, even as we anticipate the new beginning of a new year, let's keep in mind that it is only by the grace and mercies of God that we can be breathing and still living on earth here today. :)

Happy new year! :)

Hannah

People.

2011-12-27T11:50:00.000+08:00

"They don't see that all I ever wanted was for them to notice me.That someday, I'd be someone worth boasting about. That one day, I'll figure out my life and give them a better life."

As 2011 draws to an end, maybe it's time to let go of it all, the anger, bitterness, hatred, betrayal, rejection, pain and brokenhearted-ness. Throw it all away to allow a happy, joyful and memorable 2012.

2011 has been tough, but the tougher it is, the stronger you get. Things change, people change. I know that I certainly did, for the better.

Belated Christmas everyone. Do remember the true reason for this season even as Christmas is already over. :)

Hannah

Home.

2011-12-21T18:09:00.002+08:00

Home, a simple word almost everyone uses. But do you really know what home really means?
It's more than just a place to stay, or a place where you go after a long day of school or a tough day at work.
Home, without the people in it, it wouldn't be called home. It'll be caused a house.
Do you really know what 'home' is? Only recently did I realise the true meaning of being home. It's a place where your family loves you for who you are. It's a place where you feel safe and have a sense of belonging.

My home, I have the best home ever. Because no matter what, i know that my family loves me, for me. They don't think what the world thinks of me, and for the first time, I can fit in. For I am home.

Home together with like-minded people spiritually gives me a sense of warmth too. I can be truly home, only through the death and resurrection of Christ. How else would I still be breathing if not for God's grace upon my life? How else would I still be heading to college if not for Him? How else would i still have a roof over my head and internet if not for God? I'm grateful for all of it, but yet, still not enough. The depth of God's love for me, that He was willing to sent His Son for me, sometimes, I'm still unable to grasp. I still don't understand how much sacrifice it was for that to happen

I'm not a crazy holy girl who has her bible by her side all the time, I'm not. I'm a sinner and I lie, I cheat, I steal, and I nailed Christ on that cross some two thousand years ago. And even that, sometimes i feel proud of it. And it's so sickening!

For those who have your parents by your side, appreciate them. They've worked hard to raise you, even though sometimes you think that they didn't do much, stop thinking about their flaws because everyone has it. But think about how they had scarified their life for you. How they kept using their old car that was going to break down anytime soon so you could get a new phone. How they worked countless of hours so that you could get an education and in time, contribute to the society. How they had tirelessly care for you when you were little and sick. Sometimes, they don't bother you much now because you're grown up. They scold you because they knew that you could have known better. Because they love you and know that you're better than that.

Don't let it be too late.

Hannah

Rocky Mountains.

2011-12-18T22:26:00.001+08:00

I miss Mount. Kinabalu. I miss it more than I should. I miss the starry sky and that one bright twinkly star that winked at me. I miss the after effect of sore muscles and my lost of voice. I miss losing my voice. As weird as that sounds, but i miss it. But things are different, and things has to be different. I'm definitely not the same person that I was a year ago.

I'm battling myself everyday, every single second of every day. It's hard but God's been faithful, His grace and His Mercies reminded me of Christ's sacrifice for me. And I'm coping.

Do you ever understood God's love?

Hannah

Relax.

2011-12-11T12:19:00.001+08:00

less than a month away from college. 2012 is coming so soon!
Are you excited? :)

Hannah

Memories.

2011-12-04T10:30:00.000+08:00

That's all it'll ever be.

Just memories.

A picture that captured that one moment,

a picture that you might even keep forever

New Start.

2011-12-01T21:29:00.001+08:00

Heading to college in January. I'm excited. Fresh new start. Plus, based on my sleep cycle recently, and many hours I actually sleep, I'd say I'm totally ready for all the last nights and early morning. :)

Christmas is coming.

Hannah

Over.

2011-11-30T16:36:00.001+08:00

3 Weeks of exams and it's officially over. Really couldn't have done it without God. His strength to help me through this whole thing, His peace as i did my exam, His grace and His mercy in my life made me realize that no matter how the results came out, My problem with sin and how i deserve to die was solved by Christ on the cross.

Hannah

Wednesday.

2011-11-27T22:29:00.001+08:00

It's only a few days left until the end of my exams. It's exciting to know and I'm excited for the new year. Maybe even too excited that I'm thinking too much.
Just now i was looking through the college application forms and scholarship form, i saw there was a part that they had asked to write down a school referee. That alone tore me. For reasons that were still unknown to me, i was fussing and thinking and worrying about what was i suppose to write. Who was i suppose to write.

Last 2 subjects. Thank you, God for His mercy and grace and strength that got me through this entire exam period.

Hannah

Emphasis.

2011-11-09T17:17:00.002+08:00

When someone keep telling you something that pulls you down, one day, you'll start to believe their lies.
Many people tells me I'm thin and I can agree with that, but some calls me anorexic, which I am not. And because of the frequent lies that were told to me, I would begin to skip meals and eat lesser, even though I knew that I was already skinny like mad.

If someone were to keep emphasizing on the way you look or the way you talk and keep criticizing you about it, one day, without realizing it, you'll change to suit them.

Of course, when you do have a problem, the first thing you do about it is deny it. my meal skipping didn't go so far as I do get hungry and have to eat. I realized that I was becoming what they said I was and i stopped that immediately.

This blog, was actually to give inspiration and encouragement to others. My constant post that always emphasize on the beauty of someone, from the inside and not the outwards appearance, about how we all special, just by being us. This is in hope that the lies you were told by others about yourself would be replaced by how unique you really are. the REAL you.

Hannah

Studies.

2011-11-08T19:57:00.002+08:00

Less than a week more! We can do this! :)

Sand And Skies

2011-11-02T02:13:00.000+08:00

Honey, you don't see it, but you make me smile, just like that. :)

less than a month's time till the start of my FINAL examination as a high schooler. On the brighter side, it's only a month left of high school. I can't wait to get out of there! ;)

Hannah

Not Now.

2011-10-28T16:49:00.002+08:00

"You made my heart beat faster, and cause my stomach to have a funny feeling. And I hate every single second of that."

No distractions, especially not now.

2 weeks left before I step into that exam classroom and sit for the final examination of high school.
It's hard to put God first in times like these, but I'm trying, and I'm struggling. Only by His strength that I am able.

Hannah

New Beginnings.

2011-10-04T19:58:00.001+08:00

She used to be a perky cheerful girl, all smiles everywhere she went. ; Now, her smile is faded away, a tired look in her eyes and a worn outface.

She used to be talkative, an extrovert, talking about things that don't even matter. ; Now, she's quiet, distant, kept more to herself. She realised that people don't listen so why bother saying anything?

She used to be the one giving out help, helping in every way she could. ; Now, she's the one who needs help, a silent cry for someone to finally notice her problem.

I just want it all to be over.

Hannah

Weight

2011-10-03T20:06:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of a girl trying so hard to please everyone. With everyone's high expectation, she just wanted to run free from all of it.

Little did i know, my stress was making me dream about myself.

Hannah

Rainbow.

2011-09-30T19:06:00.002+08:00

Saw a rainbow this morning as i arrived in school. It made my day.
Reminded me of God's promise. And no matter how many times you've failed to keep your promise, God keeps them, each and every one of them.

"What do you want, in your life, ten years from now?"

- I just want to be happy, and live a life pleasing to God.

I don't need to be extremely rich or crazy powerful, just, happy. :)

Hannah

Scary Truth.

2011-09-15T18:55:00.001+08:00

2 paths, 2 choices.
You either choose to follow God's way, or the way of the world.
and that's scary because there's no way in between it.
It's a way leading to life and a way leading to death.

A normal textbook answer would obviously be choosing to follow God's way, and it should be that way.
But things are usually easier said than done.
By following God's way, it's the total opposite to living as how the world lives.
And we're all living in the same world, but opposing how the majority people lived, there's suffering and judgement of others that you would have to go through because of choosing God's way.

Isn't suffering for Christ counted as a blessing after what He'd done on the cross for you?
Without it, you probably wouldn't be here, living life as it is now.
Two thousand years ago at Calvary, a sinless, man, the Son of God was treated like a criminal. In fact he suffered the worst punishment that was ever made for a criminal. Imagine an innocent man, being punished for the crimes of the world. And for that reason, we are to be grateful. And for that reason, we are to submit our whole life to Him, for He was the one who redeemed our life, not for ourselves, but to glorify His name.

Choosing God way is hard, and it's a tough path that I'm still struggling with. But everyday, I thank Him, for waking me up. No matter how difficult or bad my day had went, Christ had suffered more than I ever will suffer in my lifetime.

"For He first chose us."

Hannah

Beautiful.

2011-09-13T21:44:00.004+08:00

It's a beautiful day.
Because no matter what everyone else say, YOU have it in you to get through your struggles.
YOU have the strength to stand again, even when it feels like everything is going bad.

YOU can fight through this. :)

Hannah

Stress.

2011-09-02T21:51:00.001+08:00

trial's in less than a week, and. i'm not ready.

I'm scared to fail again, because this time,

it's a much bigger failure, and i wont be disappointing myself,

but everyone else too.

Hannah

Close Your Eyes.

2011-08-27T00:57:00.002+08:00

Close your eyes for a minute, what do you see yourself doing or where do you see yourself at?

When i do that, i imagine myself on a beach. with the wind blowing through my hair, messing it up with tangles that i will soon hate to comb through. but I imagine myself carefree, without a worry, not a thought about the hectic-ness of life is. but just enjoying the sand, sea and wind.

I really need a getaway.

Hannah

Restlessness.

2011-08-20T22:56:00.002+08:00

The other day i opened this empty closet and just sat in it.

like with whole body including my legs in the closet, i sat there, just thinking.

So tired of everything. tired of trying and failing, tired of getting sick. tired of failing, tired of feeling alone.

i was there for about 10 minutes, and i realized, life goes on, no matter what.

Whenever i'm lonely, i have someone to count on, i have God, there for me.

as for trying and failing, it's all part of life.

been sleeping at 3am these few night.

3 more months and counting, it's full on straight charge toward to finish line.

not forgetting the word of God though. :) as God has been gracious toward me. :)

So, here's to the hearbreakers.

Hannah

Everything.

2011-08-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

You're everything to someone. Don't ever forget that.

Harmful.

2011-08-07T17:08:00.001+08:00

Have you ever thought about how harmful words are?

Have you ever thought about that one sentence you said that hurt someone?

Have you ever wondered whether you should be mute instead, to keep you from hurting someone else?

If i have been quiet lately, I just thinking, whether i really should shut up to stop hurting people.

Hannah

Weddings.

2011-08-03T23:12:00.004+08:00

"Let me say, You look so beautiful on our wedding day. "

JRA- By chance (you & I)

Wonders.

2011-08-02T21:27:00.001+08:00

I'm beginning to wonder if they were right about me.

That maybe, just maybe, there is something wrong with me.

Dance

2011-07-25T17:52:00.000+08:00

We'll dance until the break of dawn. and fall asleep in each other's arms. :)

Different.

2011-07-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know what you're thinking, or what you're hiding from the world.

But we're all fighting for different things.

We're all fighting for different reason.

But don't give up, just because, you're different.

Because being different, means you're special. :)

Hannah

Double Delight

2011-07-18T21:33:00.000+08:00

mickey mouse and elmo in one? :) hmmm.

Colours

2011-07-12T22:16:00.001+08:00

To be able to see the colours of nature in the world, that's a blessing. :)

Sunset.

2011-07-10T08:23:00.000+08:00

And one day, as we walk along the beach side, with waves crashing through our feet. You have your arms around me, as I have mine around you. We'll walk to the other side of the beach, watching the sunset, and enjoying each other's company.

Perfection.

2011-07-09T11:37:00.000+08:00

I can't promise to be your perfect girl, but I'll promise to be me.

Anorexia

2011-07-08T17:06:00.001+08:00

Anorexia, I don't know how it feels like.

But it won't be something good. Having to count the calories that you eat or just starve yourself, just to get any attention.

Truth is, no matter how long you stave yourself, or no matter how much weight you've lost, You'll still look in the mirror, with your bones sticking out, and still think that you're fat.

You need help, please, get help. Please eat.

Because you're beautiful, whoever you are. God made you for a reason, and that reason will never be to look like a walking skeleton.

You'll only look at yourself, thinking that you can and you must lose a few more inches at your thighs, Thinking that your tummy could've been flatter.

Don't you know that doing this, you're not going to be prettier, but you're just walking into and open grave, all by yourself.

Keeping yourself out from other people, because they would never understand what it feels like to be you, would make it so much more worst.

Don't turn a blind eye to your problem. Get help, things might be hard, but it'll get better.

Hannah

Vulnerable.

2011-07-04T16:50:00.000+08:00

I show my tougher side of me, to hide the fragile and vulnerable part that i really am.

Matters.

2011-07-01T15:01:00.001+08:00

More than anything in the world.

The fact that you're still breathing now, means that there's still strength in you, to fight, and not give up.

Because the only one who doesn't believe in me is.. myself.

Hannah

Conversations.

2011-06-30T21:49:00.001+08:00

He said to her, "I'm sorry. After what I said to you, I was kicking myself, knowing that I'll be losing you. Because what I've done, was exactly the same thing as what he'd done to you. Taking advantage of you, when you're most vulnerable. But I'm here, and I'll wait. "

Getaway

2011-06-28T20:19:00.000+08:00

A getaway to a place like this, would be good right now. :)

Darling.

2011-06-24T21:31:00.000+08:00

Darling, you see the stars? They're shining just for you. :)

Let It Be.

2011-06-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

One day, I'll go out to a carnival, with beautiful lighting hanging from the lamp post.

And that one special someone will win a prize, just for me. :)

And we'll take a stroll down the carnival, with the crowd of people pressing up on us, all I would hear would be his sweet voice.

Then we'll take a slow walk back to my house, where he'll send me off with a goodbye kiss on my cheek.

I don't need my future husband or boyfriend to tell me they love me to know that I'm loved.

I rather have them take their time to say it, than saying those 3 taboo words too soon that it wasn't sincere.

I don't need them to kiss my lips to prove that I'm his, because I trust him with whoever he hangs out with.

We'll see how it all goes, in years to come. :)

Hannah

Thanks.

2011-06-19T20:52:00.000+08:00

Thank you for listening, hearing my cries.

Thank you for believing in me, even when I don't believe in myself.

Thank you for remembering me, counting me in.

Thank you for saving me the pain, hurt and tears.

Thank you for assuring, and reassuring me.

Thank you, for being you.

Hannah

Busyness.

2011-06-19T18:55:00.003+08:00

Going to study like mad.

exam's in 5 months. No time to waste.

Stupid girl.

2011-06-15T16:59:00.002+08:00

Try walking in my shoes. You'll understand why.

Hannah

Dream House.

2011-06-14T19:30:00.000+08:00

Because when I say "it's alright", You'll know that it really is.

But when i don't answer you at all, that's when you should start getting worried. :)

Told you I'm really different from the rest! :)

Questions.

2011-06-13T18:03:00.000+08:00

Because the real question is, are you really starving yourself and using that as an excuse?

Think.

2011-06-11T22:23:00.002+08:00

Have you ever thought about how I would feel?

Have you ever considered how I would react?

I know things are hard for you, but get over it! Life goes on, and just because you're upset doesn't mean you get to let it out on other people.

STOP, putting the blame on me.

maybe there are some times in life where I just couldn't care less anymore, and could have the world putting whatever blame it is on me and not care, because nothing seem to be able to go right. Because everything I did, was wrong.

Just stop.

Past is past, and you have to let go.

I've tried worrying for you, I've tried caring for you, I've tried advising you.

You pushed it all away. And so I've stop trying.

Just know that, I've once cared for you, you misused that kindness, now all you have is the memories.

And there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I will do.

Get mad all you want.

Rebel all you want.

I'm tired of caring.

X

2011-06-11T22:20:00.001+08:00

"All post from ____ removed, You can unfriend ____ here too!"

Thanks facebook! :) you're the best!

Mess

2011-06-10T22:33:00.000+08:00

My life, so messed up, I don't even know where to start.

Bridges.

2011-06-10T11:35:00.000+08:00

So, my 2 weeks of holidays are almost up.

And there are some moments I'm gonna miss from it.

I'm sure gonna miss waking up at 9-ish, with half an energy bar and 2 hours of cheer practice.

I'm gonna miss waking up at 1.30am and hiking at 3am with the sky full of stars above me.

I'm gonna miss these lazy days where everything is so laid back.

I'm gonna miss the holidays. Cause there won't be one rest day in 5 more months!

The thing I miss most, the stars. :)

Hannah

5.

2011-06-07T18:39:00.002+08:00

Here's 5 things you may, or may not know about me. :)

1. I don't like being late. not your average teenage girl, but yes. I don't like it when i keep someone waiting.

2. I get ready really fast. Probably cause I'm not a make-up kind of girl who spends loads of time doing their make-ups. It's a pretty good time-saving technique! ;)

3. I'm terrified of saying things I can't fulfill.

4. I'm easily forgotten. till a point that I don't really mind anymore, yes, it's that bad.

5. I can't do last minutes nonsense. :) heh, but it's in my new years resolution to try and accommodate it though.

Because I'm human too. :)

Hannah

Friends

2011-06-07T18:20:00.003+08:00

Because I'm willing to give up everything I am,

so that you can find who you really are.

I know who I am, do you?

Will you stop trying to be someone else, and try to find who you really are?

Will you really try to do that?

Hannah

Dreams.

2011-06-06T22:06:00.001+08:00

How do you forget someone who made your life miserable?

you can't. You just have to forgive them, and let it go.

Infinity

2011-06-06T18:13:00.000+08:00

Because the strongest one isn't the one who can hold back their tears,

The strongest one is the one who is willing to let out the pain.

Because the strongest one isn't the one who reach the top first,

But the one who give all they have, to reach the top, last.

Hannah

Predictability.

2011-06-05T12:05:00.001+08:00

I don't know about you guys, but words can be a really powerful thing.

self confidence is built by what you hear about yourself from other people.

If all you're hearing is something negative, obviously, you'll feel down about yourself, thus leading to low self-esteem.

I'm terrified of words, terrified that whatever I'm saying, or whatever I'm going to say might just hurt someone, not just hurt, but even scarred them.

When someone keep saying something about you, soon enough, you'll take that lie and turn it into truth. Maybe it's because you're just so tired of them saying that about you, maybe you just want to shut them up. But whatever it is, you'll soon think that they might be right about you.

Why do we trust other people instead of our own opinion?

Why do we look for comfort in others instead of going to our Creator?

Why do we keep seeking to please the world and not The One who Holds the world?

I'm struggling with pleasing the world, i'm struggling with always thinking about what the world would think about me. I'm human too. And by God's grace, maybe one day, I'll seek to please Him instead of the world. Maybe one day, I'll look for comfort in God.

What, can be better than that?

Hannah

Sunrise.

2011-06-04T21:28:00.002+08:00

So i didn't manage to see the sunrise from the top. But i did see it from 8km. It was beautiful.

The clouds were below me and the sun just coming out. indescribable view. :)

And I finished the highest mountain in southeast Asia. That's something to be proud of. :)

With not enough sleep the night before and a totally weak body like mine, i still managed to reach the top. and it was a fantastic feeling.

Though, i did came home sick and lost my voice due to the fact that i didn't drink much water up there.

but everything's well.

Will be blogging again soon enough.

I've got one week of holidays left. Gonna put it to good use.

Hannah

Falling.

2011-05-29T18:15:00.000+08:00

Because getting up may be tough,

but without it, you won't be where you are right now.

Sunrise

2011-05-27T12:48:00.002+08:00

I'm gonne see the sunrise,

Cause I'm so tired of the sunset.

-Boston

Will be away! :)

Hannah

Just Breathe.

2011-05-21T11:45:00.001+08:00

Sometimes things hurt so bad,

It seem like there's no way out, no way to go.

Breathe.

It's the best thing to do.

mm. :)

2011-05-14T23:47:00.002+08:00

There's something you're not telling me.

And i'm in no position to force it out of you.

So, you know what, I don't want to know what it is.

I'll just happy for you.

Pushing forward.

2011-05-14T23:46:00.002+08:00

With tears streaming down her cheeks, she was stressed up like crazy.

All of the odds are stacked against her.

In her head, she told herself, ' I can't do this,not anymore.'

But giving up wasn't her only option, it was her choice.

And because of that, she's holding on, hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Just a few more days! :) I can't wait for exams to be over!

Hannah

Mid Terms

2011-05-10T20:54:00.001+08:00

I'm having mid terms now, but i will try to blog from time to time! ;)

stay tuned!

World.

2011-05-07T22:27:00.002+08:00

One day, I'm gonna make it around the world.

Yesterday, there was this interesting game done in cf where you were suppose to write something nice about someone behind their back.

After that game, as i was reading what was said about me, there was this warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

And i realized that, I've never really considered myself as beautiful.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate how i look and i don't wish to look like someone.

I would think that I'm a little pretty, but not as pretty as other girls, and I'm fine with it.

But beautiful? never.

It got me thinking on how other girls who aren't contented with how they look would feel.

Imagine someone calling you gorgeous, from the heart, that would totally make their day.

It made me think on why we, as humans just look at the appearance on the outside.

Shouldn't beauty be more important on the inside?

Shouldn't the most beautiful person be the one with the most generous heart?

Why do we judge beauty as what we see, and not the beauty inside?

Because for me, everyone is pretty and beautiful in their own way, but the one who would grab my attention, is the one who's heart and intentions are good.

Hannah

Your Life.

2011-05-06T20:34:00.003+08:00

This, is your life.

Don't waste it.

Things may look dull and dark but there will be some light at the end of the tunnel. It just depend on how far, you're willing to go, to reach the end.

Are you willing to take the pain, convert it into courage; take the fear and convert it into strength; take the self hatred and convert it into love.

We all need help, we all are going through something in life.

But why do we let it distract us from love?

Why do we let a simple miscommunication pull us away from loving our friend?

Why do we let our own problems distract us from the problems of the world.

If everyone has that one little glimpse of hope, of love in them. That little sight of hope, love, it changes everything.

What makes us lose hope, is because we see something that we probably didn't really like.

We lose hope in the world just because of one little thing.

We all need the strength to carry on, we need the motivation to get us through.

Why do we run away from our problems?

Why do we try to end it?

Why do we try to solve others' problems when we already have our hands full?

Don't you see that we already have a rescuer?

Don't you see that we are already rescued?

He gave his only begotten son.

He saved the world, and sacrificed His son.

Until we realize, how undeserving we are of His love,

Until we realize, how much He sacrificed for us,

Then only we'll know, how in depth God's love is.

And we'll know, how great is His love.

Luke 17:6

And the Lord said, "If you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and be planted in the sea'; and it would obey you.

Hannah

Starts With A Simple Hi.

2011-04-29T19:59:00.002+08:00

School's off for the weekend and an extra day for labor's day. Boy, am i glad about it.

These whole week, I've just drown myself with books and studies, to keep my head off things.

I've been lacking sleep and getting flu cause of it.

It's been a long week, and all i really want to do is to get some rest, and think things through.

And when I get back to school, everything goes back to its routine, my head will be all cleared out with my exam in mind. And I'll work my butt off, for this mid-term.

Because we always want to do something, more.

Hannah

Too Hard.

2011-04-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

I've work too hard for me to feel disappointed again.

Every time theres a talk about the future, there's always a certain feeling inside of me.

Almost everyone i know, knows where they're heading to. Even if they don't know what they're studying, they still know whichever place that they'll be going to.

And that leaves me feeling like my future's so unstable.

I mean really, i know most people still can't decide on their future, and I've got a few options, but every time i think it through, it's like doubts starts to filled my head.

What if i'm not choosing a right future career?

What if i end up hating my job?

In 8 year, I would like to be a person who loves waking up and getting to work. I would love to travel the world, I would love to just view things at a whole different perspective.

Everyone says to follow your dream, but what if your dream is all blurred up and you don't even know what it is?

2011, You've been dragging on for too long. And i'm tired, i really am.

Hannah

Wanting.

2011-04-24T20:38:00.000+08:00

Trying to control everything, scheduling myself.

Lacking sleep. exam's coming up and, let's just say bronze's not good enough for me. :)

I always try to push myself to the furthest i can get. With whatever results i've gotten, i always knew that I could've done something better.

This year, I'm not going to feel that disappointment that swept through me 2 years and 5 years ago when i collected my results.

I've always had high expectations on myself, maybe even too high for me. But then again, maybe it was because i didn't push myself further enough.

Whatever it is, whatever i've went through, that's all in the past. And to be honest, I appreciate every single downfall of life, without it, I wouldn't know what real strength is, I wouldn't know how to count on God, I wouldn't know how far I've come.

I've come so far, but I still have a long way more to go.

Hannah

If You Could.

2011-04-10T22:39:00.003+08:00

If only you knew how often i cry myself to sleep,

and how i die a little inside every time i see you.

I asked my English teacher yesterday whether I have a future in writing, she nodded and said yes. But somehow i still have these doubts in my head, thinking whether i should go for it.

Reality is tough, but it's the only thing that keeps us going.

The story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

- The Story Of Us.

Hannah

Temporary

2011-04-10T22:38:00.003+08:00

Things that happened today made me realize that, winning something, the joy just last for a little while.

But true happiness, that could only be found in God alone, that last for eternity.

We do many things when we're temporarily upset, that rush of emotion that causes us to feel down makes us do all sorts of silly things.

Some hurt themselves to try to get over that pain inside them.

If leading a team to success for one small game made me feel nice inside, ever just for a little while, what then, will leading someone to Christ feel like?

It's like joy that last forever, really.

Hannah

Life.

2011-04-09T09:04:00.000+08:00

Story of my life.

Worries.

2011-04-08T19:57:00.002+08:00

Out of sheer worries or i dont know what i was feeling then.

Sat down on my desk and wrote 2 whole essays. They weren't long, quite short, but i think it got the point across.

Trying to this positive thoughts, but i'm worried, trust me i am.

After what he told me today, i don't think i've ever been more worried than ever in my life.

I didn't talk to you after that, because i was so the verge of crying.

Tears were almost slipping down my cheeks, that, was how worried i was.

"She's worried, stupid."

yeah, about you. Nothing else.

Hannah

Changed.

2011-04-07T19:14:00.002+08:00

People change. Everyone change.

It's either for the better or for the worst.

I've seen how much they changed, seen how much they backslide, seen how much they've changed in the way they think.

I, too am guilty of this problem.

I've changed, many, many times. I changed who i really was to fit in, until i realise that I can be better than that.

I've changed because I thought people like them were cool, until i realise that I can never be like them.

I've changed, hopefully for the better, hopefully to give influence to the others.

I've changed, because i want to stay true to who i am, to who God has made me to be.

I hate the fact that I can't talk normally to you anymore.

I hate the fact that I'm losing a close friend.

I hate the fact that looking back, we used to be so close.

I hate the fact that I don't know anything about how you are anymore.

I hate the fact that I don't know you anymore.

And now I'm back at square one, deciding my future.

Hannah

One Time.

2011-04-06T20:19:00.002+08:00

We girls, always like to believe in happy ever afters and fairytale endings.

Nothing will ever come the way we want it to.

Once Upon A Time, it doesn't happen here.

Hannah

Struggles.

2011-04-01T18:22:00.003+08:00

I've never really been much of a quitter even though sometimes I feel like it.

Sometimes people quit because of all different kinds of reasons.

Disapprove of family, for love? some even because it doesn't feel like.

I think that if you're gonna do something, you've gotta make sure that it's approving to you yourself.

In ten years, when you look back, will you ever regret making that decision?

Things have been kinda down lately, the feeling i've felt of how the team isn't united anymore is worrying me.

I don't want to be a huge let down on everyone. I've set a high standard for myself to achieve and I don't want to let myself down.

This whole team was my closest friends. They just weren't there when i really needed them to.

Everyone's falling apart, lack of interest maybe, or maybe even thinking that I've not a good leader.

And maybe i'm not, And i really don't know.

I need all the help i can get.

Hannah

Views

2011-03-30T17:18:00.002+08:00

my view on telling someone about an important exam or upcoming interview is that,

the more people you tell, when you fail, the more people you disappoint.

of course, it works vise versa too.

the more people you tell, when you succeed, the more people you make proud. (wrong sentence construct, i know.)

Which is also why whenever i have a big exam coming up, school exams are excluded because everyone knows about that.

I usually just keep it to myself or maybe just let a few people know, like my leaders and family.

I used to tell everyone i know when i have a big exam or something like that, then i stopped, cause everytime i fail, i feel like i've let them down.

Usually i just don't tell anyone. After you failed something and had to tell that person you've failed because they asked you how was the results, they feel sorry for you and really don't know what to say to you.

To save them the trouble, and myself the embarrassment, it's just better for me to keep it to myself.

Also, it kinda lessen the pressure, When everyone is rooting for you to succeed, the pressure is high and all you think about it to not let them down.

But that's just my view on it. :)

Hannah

Words

2011-03-25T23:06:00.003+08:00

'And maybe one day, after i've passed on, someone would say, "she's a real star."'

-Hannah

Ask me anything. :) formspring me here! :D

Stop.

2011-03-24T15:21:00.001+08:00

Stop lying to yourself

I'm serious. I find you really annoying, but I don't know what you're going through or I guess you're still hurting? but please, it's time to get over it.

It's time to let go, because holding on to that memories you have of us as really close friends won't help a single thing.

It's been years, I really don't know what to say to you.

You've changed, for whatever reason.

Think about it.

Hannah

Perfect.

2011-03-23T22:13:00.003+08:00

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.

No one should be judge by someone who doesn't know what they're going through.

Behind all those smiles and laughs, is probably someone who is more broken than ever.

Who knows you better, than you yourself?

Sometimes things are so hard and I've been through it

Going through a period where I didn't really know who i am

I was caught up with trying to be like everyone else that when i actually looked into the mirror, i didn't even recognize who i was.

When we walk through the path of life, sometimes we take a wrong turn some where on the way.

We just need to have the strength to know that we'll turn back, and head up to the right road all over again.

I don't know what to feel, I really don't.

Hannah

If only

2011-03-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

If only you all knew how awesome you are. :)

Pie.

2011-03-18T19:58:00.002+08:00

I miss how easy things were.

:l

2011-03-17T16:00:00.002+08:00

She said to him, ' tell me everything's gonna be alright.'

Tears rolling down his cheeks, he replied her, ' I can't.'

Time

2011-03-16T16:54:00.002+08:00

Time is infinity.

Time after time, i don't know why I keep letting myself go.

I wonder why i keep risking myself to feel what I've felt a long time ago.

I was hurt, but i healed. But please, don't open the wounds that I've tried so hard to cover them up.

Being nice doesn't work, because nice people are the ones who suffer the most.

Quiet people are the ones who have the most to say.

Hang in there. :)

You'll be fine.

Hannah

Fakes.

2011-03-13T21:26:00.002+08:00

HAHAHHA.

no you can't.

I see right through you, dude. stop thinking you're all that.

Because honestly, it's getting pretty annoying.

Numbness

2011-03-13T17:47:00.003+08:00

Sometimes things don't come easy for some of us.

We don't make friends so easily;

We don't smile so often;

We don't see the joy of the world so much.

Sometimes we hold back the pain, until it become part of us.

When i was hurt, i took the pain, until it became part of me.

I was numb to it, and trust me, that was the worst feeling in the world.

I kept everything in, I didn't know what to do.

But by doing that, i trusted God through it. And He brought me through all of it, taking it one step at a time.

God, is love, but He is also Holy, and one day, soon. He'll be judging us, and we have to make an account of what we did with the time, the talent and the resources He provided for us.

The quake in Japan that happened just a couple days ago, it shook me.

What if, God comes back? What have i done in my lifetime that points to Him?

Have i made my life count to Him?

Did i really used everything He gave me, to bring Him the glory that He deserve more than anything?

And i haven't. I was too busy, working for worldly success. Always just telling God that maybe after I finish my studies, i'll do His work.

I thought about how and why was i working for the world, and not for Him.

I thought about unready am i, if God were to come tomorrow, or at the next hour.

I thought about what i would say to Him

I thought about what I'd say if He asked what did i do with all the talents, and time He gave.

I thought about how blessed i was

So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned,

In awe of the One who gave it all;

So I'll stand, my soul Lord, to You surrendered;

ALL, i am, is Your's

-The Stand ; Hillsong United.

Hannah

You know,

2011-03-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

You're awesome.

Nothing will ever beat that. :)

Japan

2011-03-11T18:46:00.002+08:00

Japan, if you haven't heard yet, was hit by a tsunami just a few hours ago.

Do pray for the people there.

Sometimes we think our lives are hard, that we are just merely surviving, but people out there in the world are struggling, without a choice.

We can still do something to change things around, but those who were hit by the terrible disaster, they can't do much.

Pray for courage, that they won't be discouraged, instead be encourage. Pray they they know God is with them, through all the disaster they are going through.

Lord, take care of Your people. :)

Hannah

Scars

2011-03-07T15:25:00.003+08:00

I had this friend who was a cutter. I didn't know the seriousness of cutting then.

I was young and stupid. She would come to school and not let anyone see the cuts on the arm.

When I asked, she would just say that it was nothing. Until i kept asking when she finally told me she cut herself.

Everyone else who asked what had happened, she'd just say that she was scratch by some branches.

She's share with me the emotional pain she was going through and that sometimes it was better for her to feel the physical pain.

I'm lucky to still have her.

She was a cutter, and i let her be instead of stopping her.

I could not have been more ashamed about that.

You, let me know if i should be worried, okay?

These things are not funny, and you especially, should know that.

Hannah

HAHHA! :)

2011-03-06T23:16:00.003+08:00

hello popcorn, yes it's you i'm talking about.

You're request to blog about you has been granted! :) so do be happy!

thank you, for listening to me ramble on and on about things i dont even understand.

sometimes, i get so tired that when i talk to you, i don't even know what i'm saying. :D

But you've been a nice friend, so you too, deserve a post! *pats on back!*

edited;;

oh and also, 100/100 for joe brooks. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. THANK YOU! :D

And remember, forgive them if they have spaghetti like brain, they can't help it. :D

Hannah

What You Can't Have.

2011-03-05T22:48:00.003+08:00

I'm in no position to say anything.

I'm not in any position to tell you what to do,

Neither am i in any position to tell you that you're so much better than them.

I heard you swear the other day. I was shocked, i really was. You used to be the most patient person i know, you're still patient, but something changed. You changed, just so you could fit in more.

I understand how you feel, being teased and all. But really, you are so much, much better than who they are.

I'm worried for you, I don't show it. but i, too, as a close friend of your's feel like i could have done something more.

What if one day i lose you for good? I would never forgive myself for not spending more time with you.

I need you, to tell me, to warn me, if anything is going to happen.

What happened to those days where we could talk freely? i was gutless and a coward, too afraid to take the first step.

But i am, worried about you. Only you don't know how much it affects me.

And i'm in no position, to tell you anything that can make you feel better.

You, have the potential to be so much more. More than who you are. More than who i am.

Don't waste your life trying to be someone else, and especially don't waste it, trying to be me.

Because you are so much more than that. You need, to get your priorities right.

I'm can't tell you what i think about your new relationship, because you don't even wanna introduce me.

It was too fast. And you'll get hurt, all over again.

But I'm in no position to tell you how i feel.

We've strayed.

God, I'm praying for wisdom. Just like how i've prayed to not be in my comfort zone. But now, i need YOUR wisdom to know what's the wise thing to do.

Whatever you're going through, you're not alone.

Hannah

March.

2011-03-03T18:49:00.002+08:00

hey guys! (: march came by really quickly! And honestly, i need to take a little breather! :)

Sometimes it is, good to look back and see how far you've come yes?

And the feeling of focusing on really how much you've grown and not much much you failed is, amazing! :)

I've had plenty of failures in the past. I have always hope for more than i can achieve, always telling myself that i can do it. but when the results show, disappointment swept through me.

But why let you're standards down? Maybe one day, you'll achieve the results that is more, than what you can achieve, imaging that happiness and that joy you'll feel. :)

Talent for something is just a spark that makes you enjoy it, but it is the hard work of perfecting it that makes someone skillful.

;)

You are so much better without them, then again, who am i to tell you that? :I

Hannah

That Walk.

2011-02-25T20:01:00.000+08:00

I can't take that walk down memory lane with you. Not now, probably not ever.

Cause I was badly hurt.

Thank You.

2011-02-23T20:28:00.002+08:00

Thank you for all the good memories together.

Thank you for all the encouragement you gave me.

Thank you for believing in me

Thank you for having faith in me

Thank you, for being you.

And thank you, for accepting me for who i am.

Someone out there would wanna thank you for all the times you've had with them and all the positive things that gave them hope. :)

Hannah

Secrets.

2011-02-20T16:16:00.002+08:00

I'm pretty sure we all do.

The other day i wrote an essay about this topic, it was like pouring out my emotions onto that piece of paper, giving my thoughts and feelings to the characters.

No doubt that i really gave a lot for it. It wasn't that hard, really. i knew what i wanted to write about and i knew how i wanted my characters to feel.

I got my essay back, and i was so happy about what i got. it was a 46/50. i've never, never, gotten such a mark before. and this was only a homework and not even exam question.

My point, is that, we all have secrets that we kept from the world, that we kept from our closest friends. we all do. And sometimes, those things will be the one that's bringing us to death. Sometimes, the secrets that we keep away from our loved ones are the ones that are intoxicating us, little by little. And sometimes, the secrets we keep away are the ones we're not willing to admit.

Some people are out in the world, to just bring us down. we need strength, and self confidence to never let them crush us.

Whenever i feel like i can't do anything, or i can't be who God wants me to be, whenever i feel like i have no more energy to keep trying, whenever i feel like giving up. this songs comes to me.

"Through You, I can do anything, I can do all things.

Cause it's You who give me strength, NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE"

Nothing, is impossible. :)

Hannah

Troubled

2011-02-14T22:07:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentines' day! :)

i still think valentines day is super overrated though.

People expects their boyfriend/girlfriend to give them something. and if that 'something' doesn't reach their expectations, then well, their day would be emo and all that kinda stuff.

Valentines day is just showing your appreciation to someone, your family, siblings or anyone else. :) but that does not mean that you only do that once a year. you're suppose to appreciate and love that person for all the days of the year! why just one day?

Almost the end of the day here. so, just show someone how much you care, alright? :)

Somehow, i always get myself tied up with these kinda things.

Hannah

You're Worth It.

2011-02-13T00:14:00.002+08:00

You, are worth every single tear someone cried for you

You, are worth every smile someone smiled when they think of you

You, are worth every heartache when someone worries for you

You are, worth it.

Hang in there.

Most people don't know what it's like to be forgotten.

what's worst than being forgotten is when someone could forget you when you're just right at their faces.

And i'm still trying, to tell myself that i'm worth it.

Hannah

Games

2011-02-06T21:19:00.002+08:00

I really don't know what to do.

Please, don't try to be like me, don't try to want to be me.

You never knew what i went through. You just saw what happened on the outside, without any knowledge of what i'm really going through.

You saw just the surface of thing, when it really is deeper than you know.

You can have my friends, my closest friends, you can have everything i have.

But please, don't try to be me.

please.

Hannah

Chinese New Year!

2011-02-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese new year guys!
I really don't like the fireworks! :(

;)

2011-01-31T22:24:00.003+08:00

no, im not done with my sweet seventeen post! :)

being seventeen, i've realized so many things.

actually, i've realized a lot this month, first month of the year, it was a good start! :)

there were a lot of downs, but, there were definitely some really uplifting moments!

i was 'promoted' a class up this year. I had really good friends there, and it was the class that i've always wanted to be in since i came into school.

but, i so badly wanted to get out of there. It was a really big change of atmosphere.

through the 4 years of my high school, i was always in the class which was cheeky, smart, but lazy. but this year, the class was totally different, people were soo studious and it was really different!

Just a couple years ago, i told myself that im tired of always trying to make people happy, and i'm going to start putting myself first, and not caring about anyone else. Just recently, i realized that i've actually been too self-centered that i didn't even realize that when i'm sad, it affects my friends too. I never realize that they wanted me to be happy. I was too selfish to notice that.

So now, i'm trying to not be so self-centered, but make myself happy while making other people happy. And of course, making God proud, and being who He has made me to be.

I'm only seventeen, I probably still have a long way more, or maybe now, no one knows. But i'm hoping, that i'll be using my talents wisely, to help, to be a blessing, to people and to shine my light.

Who knows how long the road i'm travelling is going to be? But i'm praying that i am taking the right path, the one where only few has walked, and to be different, and not walk where the world is walking through.

I'm already seventeen. And i'm blessed and overwhelmed. And I, have still, a long way to go, in maturing in Christ.

Hannah

SevenTeen! :D

2011-01-30T22:14:00.002+08:00

so yes, i'm officially seventeen, officially legal to drive. spent the last 2 days with the bunch of friends.

it was really such an awesome time spent with those 2 bunch of people. plus spent today with the family. ♥

really, i am truly blessed to have each and everyone of them by my side. plus my brother who's overseas too! his phone call made my whole day! Best thing for my birthday! :)

so speechless, i dont know where to start replying people. so.. yes. :)

Hannah